A letter to my younger self.....
Dear Younger Self,
I remember the feelings that you are feeling. You’re about to begin matric finals, matric vac is on the horizon and you’re off to Rhodes next year to finally realize your dream of becoming a journalist. Life is sweet. For now at least.
Sorry to break it to you kid, but the year ahead isn’t going to be a picnic. Or rather, it is going to be one. A huge picnic complete with loaves of bread, bottles of coke, plates of sweets and chocolates and a giant piles of roast potatoes smothered in gravy. Sounds amazing right? Well it’s not. If you indulge in all the food at the picnic (which by the way, you will) be warned that the result will not be pretty.
Your bum will make its debut, your stomach will closely resemble a tyre, and your thighs – oh sorry, did I say thighs? I meant tree trunks. And not to mention your boobs; let’s just say that you wont have to worry about buying packets for your groceries. Your bras will be sufficient. One word of advice: before you leave for Rhodes, buy clothes that are at least two sizes too big. Your favourite pair of jeans? You can leave those at home for your sister. They will never fit you again.
Don’t think that you make an effort though, because you will. You’ll join the gym but you’ll never go. You’ll walk to Pepper Grove instead of catching a lift. You’ll unbook all of your breakfasts for the whole year. Another thing that you will do, and this one is monumental, is hardly ever drink. However, none of this will work. The only thing that will help you to avoid the horrors of first year spread will be to either not even become a first year in the first place or to cut down on meals. I suggest you choose the latter. Because despite the astronomical amount of weight you will put on, first year will be the best year of your life.
So enjoy the picnic my dear. Just be sure to get there late when the food is gone and fill yourself up on water instead!
All my love,
Your Older Self
xxxxx
I remember the feelings that you are feeling. You’re about to begin matric finals, matric vac is on the horizon and you’re off to Rhodes next year to finally realize your dream of becoming a journalist. Life is sweet. For now at least.
Sorry to break it to you kid, but the year ahead isn’t going to be a picnic. Or rather, it is going to be one. A huge picnic complete with loaves of bread, bottles of coke, plates of sweets and chocolates and a giant piles of roast potatoes smothered in gravy. Sounds amazing right? Well it’s not. If you indulge in all the food at the picnic (which by the way, you will) be warned that the result will not be pretty.
Your bum will make its debut, your stomach will closely resemble a tyre, and your thighs – oh sorry, did I say thighs? I meant tree trunks. And not to mention your boobs; let’s just say that you wont have to worry about buying packets for your groceries. Your bras will be sufficient. One word of advice: before you leave for Rhodes, buy clothes that are at least two sizes too big. Your favourite pair of jeans? You can leave those at home for your sister. They will never fit you again.
Don’t think that you make an effort though, because you will. You’ll join the gym but you’ll never go. You’ll walk to Pepper Grove instead of catching a lift. You’ll unbook all of your breakfasts for the whole year. Another thing that you will do, and this one is monumental, is hardly ever drink. However, none of this will work. The only thing that will help you to avoid the horrors of first year spread will be to either not even become a first year in the first place or to cut down on meals. I suggest you choose the latter. Because despite the astronomical amount of weight you will put on, first year will be the best year of your life.
So enjoy the picnic my dear. Just be sure to get there late when the food is gone and fill yourself up on water instead!
All my love,
Your Older Self
xxxxx
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2 comments:
First year spreads are the worst and like you pointed out unavoidable. I took three years off after school to travel through Europe before I started my Rhodes career and in my first couple of months away from home I also ballooned. It was horrible. As I’ve always been a bit of a gym bunny and a health freak I thought the weight would be easy to loose but, it took forever…this was very hard to deal with as someone who has never had issues with her body and loves good food. I didn’t want to become one of those ‘weight obsessed’ girls who are constantly worried about what they’re eating and if she looks fat in what she is wearing. But, it felt like I had to in order to loose the weight and get back to my happy confident self. Even worse I didn’t want the lack of confidence to drive me to an eating disorder. I think weight and the body will be a constant struggle or worry for most woman as we go through different chapters in our lives. This is sad because it often makes us feel devalued. The best advice I can give you is to enjoy your picnic, with spreads and all but, try and find a way to stay healthy in conjunction with that. You have a great sense of humour about it, don’t let it get you down.
If you need some more advice or tips in regard to this new fuller you, I am currently a trainer at the Power Plate gym down on New Street, please feel free to contact me via my blog.http://stilettossexandshooters.blogspot.com/.
LaSchandre
I really love this post! It is hysterically funny and manages to deal with the issue of first year spread whilst poking fun at it at the same time. I did a post on first year spread but it’s interesting how we both had the same topic and dealt with them in a similar comedic way (I think) but we discussed different aspects of “the dreaded spread” which is cool! Although I do think the older self in this case is kidding about not drinking a lot! : ) I love the part about not having to worry about buying groceries because your bras will be sufficient. In my post I comment on the negative affect of partying and eating on your waistline and although I do not say so explicitly when I comment that the combination will increase your waistline size, what I mean is that you will have tree trunks for thighs, that your stomach will resemble a tyre and that your bra size will grow rapidly so I think we’re on the same wavelength, especially since I’ve actually had to leave my favorite pair of jeans at home : ) !!!
Miss Pissed www.livingsotallytober.blogspot.com
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