Third Wheeling for Dummies
Being single in first year is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it's a whole lot of fun. Its somewhat of an art to remain detached despite meeting lots of guys. Or so I tell myself :) Last night however, I found myself in the not so awesome situation us singletons know all too well: the third wheel. But, having developed the skill of third wheeling gracefully in high school, I have since honed in on it in first year. While your friend and her man canoodle, there are plenty of ways to amuse yourself.
1. Make friends, fast. Even if you can befriend another couple, fifth wheeling is always better than third wheeling. Seventh wheeling is the best.
2. Share embarassing moments about when your friend vomited in a res bin.
3. Loudly annouce that you are going to the bathroom, and if you don't return it's because you too have found yourself a minger.
4. Spill your drink on someone's lap. This way you won't look like awkward one.
5. Make "your mother" jokes until everyone feels awkward.
6. Play with matches, close to someone's hair.
7. Suggest a roudy drinking game like "My hat has three corners" that occupies everyone's hands.
8. Remark at the effectivity of acne cream.
9. Shoot bits of paper into everyone's hair through a straw. Ten points if you hit their face.
10. Hum the Titanic theme tune.
Okay, so maybe its a little less graceful and a little more irritating - but hey, they are the ones making things awkward right?
Posted by Megs
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